Note: This is a Spark Post off Thespius' over at World of Matticus for today.
I try and do my best when I do show up as a tank in LFG. I'm polite, keep an eye on my healer, and even double check if the pace I'm comfortable moving at is what the healer wants.
I've had enough -bad- groups as a dps on my hunter to not want to be a wench (pick another word) in groups where I'm the tank. Of course, I'm not confident as a PuG tank because I've had too many bad groups. I've gotten through groups and been told I was the worst tank they'd ever had, just because I'm too cautious or for some, too reckless. And those are in groups where nobody died... heck we may have gotten close to killing me a few times, but I didn't notice it. My focus is on keeping the mobs ON me. My pace does not change.
When I'm on the paladin, I step forward, lift the shield, and leave my life in the hands of the healer. If I drop first, I did my job. And I try my hardest to avoid too much too quickly, because I have a pretty good idea of what my personal limits are.
Some would say the only way I'm going to get over my hesitancy or recklessness is to run more PuGs. They might be right, but I can also understand why tank is the one thing so many groups wait for, burn out on a tank or healer and that's one fewer in the lists for everyone.
I've barely played my paladin in the last month. I've barely played because, to be honest, I don't feel like I'm good enough. I've got the gear to handle tanking thanks to my wonderful guild mates, but not the experience, at least not as much as say, Niqora or Kazi or even Myst. I'm not a primary tank. I occasionally want to tank, but I feel like I'm slowing everyone down as I fumble and slip, letting a mob past me, which bee-lines directly at the mage.
I guess I'm not confident anymore. I trust guild healers or guild-allied because they do know I'm not primarily a tank, I just have her in reserve. I used to enjoy tanking for the guild, because we needed her as a tank. Now, like I said, I feel like I'm sucking royally, and I don't want to screw up and get yelled at by a PuG, just because I made the wrong split second decision. My guild says I can tank... but I guess, I don't feel like I can.
Can tank.... I guess?
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